Eddie Haskell knew the value of a good compliment. But a backhanded compliment like “bless this mess” can do more harm than good. When you are overcome with clutter and poor habits, don’t add insult to injury by putting yourself down. Watch this video to find out how defeatist language may be sabotaging your organizational accomplishments.
(Click here to watch on YouTube if you can’t see the embedded player. Or watch the video at http://bit.ly/tcdenemy.)
Transcript:
Hi. I’m Lorie Marrero, creator of the Clutter Diet book and on-line program, and today we’re going to talk about how you may be sabotaging yourself with your organizing efforts all day long without even realizing it.
I was inspired to talk to you about this from a member of our on-line program who gave herself a user name for her on-line account with us, and it was something that she was trying to change, but it was a name that was very negative and assigning her a label of exactly the thing she didn’t want to be. So in other words, I won’t embarrass her by saying what the name was, but if she were trying to quit smoking, instead of get organized, it would be a name like “Two Packs a Day.” So in other words, you don’t want to put that kind of label on yourself if you’re trying to quit smoking, right? So this happens all the time. I hear this when people are talking to me. They say things like, “I will never get organized. I’m just not an organized person.” And they’re using very permanent language for a temporary problem, or a problem that can be changed with skills and practice.
So I hear words like “never” and “always” and – let me give you a few examples of how you can say something like this, that’s not empowering, and then turn it around and change it to where it is empowering. So, for example, “I never remember to pay my bills.” Well, do you really want that to be true, that you never remember? Well, that’s what’s going to happen if you say that to yourself. So instead say, “I sometimes forget to pay my bills. What can I do to help remind myself of this?” Great, ask yourself the right question. So instead of saying, “I’m such an idiot,” well, that’s not true, you’re not an idiot, say, “I made a mistake, what can I learn from it?” Instead of saying, “This is just how I am, I’m just not an organized person,” say, “I tend to approach things this way, how can I improve that? How can I change that?” Again, asking yourself the right questions and framing all of your statements in a way that allows yourself to change and grow instead of assigning permanent ugly labels to yourself.
So in our smoker example, instead of giving herself a user name “Two Packs a Day,” she could name herself, “Former Smoker.” So it already puts her in the category of where she wants to be. So think about what’s empowering. Ask yourself, “Would I say this same thing to my best friend or to my child?” Probably not. We’re a lot harder on ourselves than we are on the people that we love in our lives. So be kind to yourself, remember that our words define us, and they shape our destiny, and you have to be careful about what words you choose.
If you need help with your organizing efforts and you want to make some changes in your life, we have a program just for you. It’s so affordable. I created this just because having an organizer come to your home in person is not for everybody’s budget. So you can sign up for about the price of a pizza and have unlimited access to our team of organizers seven days a week, where you can write to us all you want, show us pictures of what’s going on, and we can help you reframe these things in your head and make these changes. You can check us out at clutterdiet.com/learnmore.
See you next time, and may you always be happy and grateful for having more than enough.
You may have been searching for how to get organized when it feels hopeless or choosing better words.
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